Arthi B.
Photography by Emma Kraus
If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are good enough.
The mind is a strange thing. For years, I couldn’t understand why mine seemed to work against me, why it wasn’t rooting for me. I often hurt my own feelings, held myself to impossible standards, and criticized every flaw. The past few years have been the most mentally and emotionally challenging of my life. I struggled with waves of anxiety and depression, searching for an escape in all the wrong places—chasing love, validation, and acceptance outside of myself. At the end of the day, I realized that all of the turbulent emotions that I was feeling stemmed from one thought: I’m not good enough.
People always say that self-love is important, but it took me years to truly understand what that meant, let alone practice it. I still don’t know that I wake up loving myself every single day, but more often than not, I am happy with who I am. Through this journey, I’ve learned a few lessons that I hope might help someone else navigating a similar path:
The first step in feeling better was deciding that I wanted to. For the longest time, I didn’t believe I deserved happiness. I didn’t care enough about myself to seek it. But once I made the choice, things slowly started to shift.
Self love looks different for everyone. For some, it’s dressing up in the morning; for others, it’s making a nourishing meal, watching TV after a long day, hitting the gym because they promised themselves they would, or refusing to entertain people who don’t meet their standards. Figure out what self-love looks like for you and practice it daily. Prioritizing your well-being is a lifelong commitment—start small, be consistent, and set yourself up for success.
Make a list on your phone of all the things that make you feel better when you are sad or anxious. When you’re feeling low, the last thing you’ll want to do is take care of yourself—but do it anyway. Even if it doesn’t immediately lift your mood, movement creates momentum. Small actions matter.
Some days, no matter what you do, you won’t feel better. And that’s okay. Don’t overanalyze it. Just go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new day brings new energy.
Your thoughts are not always the truth. Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s real. Whether you believe you’re terrible at everything or the best at everything—both are illusions. Intrusive thoughts will come, but not all of them deserve your attention.
Nothing has power over you unless you give it permission. No person, situation, or outcome can control your emotions unless you allow it. You have the right to stop caring about anything and everything that is external to you. Your focus is what keeps negativity alive—be intentional about where you place it. As a seasoned overthinker, I can promise you this: You will regret every moment spent dwelling on things that don’t matter. Everyday, we are one day closer to death, as morbid as that sounds. Time is fleeting, and it is something that you can never get back.
Become what you seek from others. Whether that is comfort, love, security, stability, or something else entirely. Become your own best friend, and your biggest cheerleader. We teach others how to treat us based on the treatment that we give to ourselves.
Be patient with yourself. You can’t change overnight. Healing after experiencing a traumatic event can feel like taking one step forward and two steps back. There will be days when you feel like you’re back at square one—when sadness, self-doubt, and negative thoughts creep in again. When this happens, don’t feel discouraged and remember that it's completely normal. It takes months or years to undo the negative programming and thought patterns that we have had on loop for so long. Additionally, breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. When painful memories resurface, take a deep breath and remind yourself: this is an opportunity to process, heal, and move forward.
Going to therapy or taking medications does not make you weak or vulnerable or broken. Even after struggling on and off with my mental health for years, I was still hesitant to start therapy. Part of me didn’t want to ask for help or even admit that I needed help in the first place. I am very grateful to the people in my life who encouraged me to start going to therapy. Therapy and medications may not solve all of your problems, but it won’t hurt you to give it a try.
Everyday is a new day. Every moment is a new moment. It’s never too late to make a change. It’s never too late to become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
If it’s not the happy ending that you hoped for, then it’s not the end. Keep going :)
We are in our own heads for the rest of our lives. I wanted mine to be a more peaceful place to be. If you are in a difficult season, know this: You are stronger than anything that comes your way, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you are still reading this, thank you for being here and I wish you so much peace, love, and joy. And if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open and I am happy to be a resource.
Arthi B., Boston University
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