Penelope L.

Photography by Robin Jansky

If you’re reading this, you’re a fighter.

Even though it does not feel like it, you are. If you got out of bed this morning, you’re fighting. If you didn’t, you’re still fighting because you’re on the If You’re Reading This website, reading my letter (and hopefully feeling a little less alone). If surviving was the only thing on your to-do list today, you are a fighter. 

I won’t offer you empty promises and useless cliches. No, I don’t know when or how it will get better. No, your pain does not have to teach you some cosmic lesson that’s supposed to “make you stronger.” Sometimes, it just hurts, and that’s okay. But I will tell you this: you are not alone. Depression thrives in the quiet canyons of vulnerability, and those canyons can be vast when speaking up feels like the uphill climb. But here’s the thing: silence is how depression wins.

So, if you’re reading this, be loud.

Is it easy? No. Is it scary? Yes. But it can help. When you speak up - when you drag your darkness into the light - it loses its power over you. You don’t have to have all the answers, you don't have to do it perfectly, and you don’t have to understand how you’re feeling. But letting someone in, anyone, is a great first step. I’ve danced with depression more times than I’d care to admit. After a while of getting to know my own darkness, it became really easy to hide it from the people who love me the most. It was even easier to let it take control of my life. I realized that these walls that depression built around my mind began to crumble piece by piece as I let people in. I started by telling a teacher, then a friend, then my family, then more friends, and now I’m telling you. Every time, it gets easier; every day, I get stronger, and every moment, I'm grateful that I let in the light.

Take the thoughts that scare you the most and write them down. Tell a friend or a family member how you feel or what you’re going through. Tell a stranger! Just be loud.

Remember that there are millions of people out there who understand.

Remember that you are not alone.

Remember, you are a fighter, and I am so proud of you.

And remember, you’re alive.

You’re still here, and that’s all that matters.

Keep on fighting,

Someone who gets it

Penelope L., New York University

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